San Francisco is a city of many neighborhoods: from the well-known Chinatown and North Beach, to the hipster Mission, to the one that has streets laid out to look like a bell. Yep, a bell. If this doesn’t ring a bell (sorry, I couldn’t resist), I’ll fill you in.

It’s St. Mary’s Park, which is part of Bernal Heights on the real estate map, tucked in the southwest corner of Bernal, just north of the Excelsior.

How, you might ask, did a neighborhood end up with streets laid out in the shape of a bell? Look no further than the name of the neighborhood — the first St. Mary’s College opened in the area in 1863. Tuition was $60 per academic year for day students $250 for boarders (lights out: 8:30 PM — just like my days in college).

The college moved to Oakland in 1889, and in the 1920s the Catholic Diocese subdivided the land and sold some for development. The bell shape of the streets is a reference to the school’s church bell. From Google Maps:

Credit: Google maps

In addition to its spiffy bell shape, the neighborhood is home to the St. Mary’s Park and Recreation Center. Located on Justin at the end of Murray Street, this park is a well-kept secret. But if you have a dog, like to play tennis or shoot some hoops, this is a great park to visit. There are also baseball diamonds, a playground for the kids, and bathrooms.

The St. Mary’s Park Improvement Club has some more great history of the neighborhood, as well as a blog that was last updated in 2006. And, according to a recent New York Times article, there’s a neighborhood newsletter: “The monthly newsletter, The Park Bell, is delivered by a papergirl; articles announce potluck dinners and seed exchanges, and offer updates on the health of neighbors. The recipe editor’s job is open.” How cute is that?

If you’d like more information about the neighborhood, drop us a line.

Last year, I had the pleasure of helping a friend from college, Alex, buy his first home. During his search process, he considered many different types of properties, from brand-new condos in SOMA to two-unit buildings in Glen Park (and a few others in between). Then we came across a single-family home in Midtown Terrace. Let’s just say she wasn’t ready for her close-up, Mr. DeMille.

The house was built in 1955 and appeared to be almost 100% original: sad little brick fireplace in the living room, not very user-friendly kitchen (no dishwasher, for starters), scuffed up oak floors, green and yellow tile bathroom with no storage at all. Somewhere along the way someone installed new windows, which we found out had been recalled by a now-defunct manufacturer. Awesome.

Then along came Alex, his partner Lance, and their designer, Kevin Sawyers of Sawyers Design. Almost one year later, Alex and Lance now live in a home that can be described as nothing less than a masterpiece. Gone is the wall separating the kitchen from the living room. Gone is the green and yellow tile in the bathroom. Gone are the awful windows. Gone is the 1950s version of a Home Depot-grade kitchen.

In place of all that is an open, inviting home with a tasteful, thoughtful design aesthetic that tips its hat to the mid-century origins of the house, but brings it squarely into the 21st century with beautiful, modern finishes.

I could babble on and on about this place, but I’ll cut myself off and go straight to the photos. I guarantee that each one of these is worth many more than a thousand words. Or, if you’re like me, no words at all — I was speechless when I saw the place for the first time. I’ll give you both the before and after, so you can see just how much has changed.

Alex's old kitchen.

New, fabulous kitchen.

Alex's old bathroom.

Another view of the original bathroom.

No, it's not a spa or a hotel suite. It's Alex's new and fantastically improved bathroom.

Original living room.

New living room. Check out the fireplace.

Picture a wall between the living room and kitchen. Now look at this.

There are plenty more before and after pictures on Kevin’s business page on Facebook. Check them out, drool a lot, and when it’s time to imagine your own dream home, call Kevin.

Nope, I’m not moonlighting as a copywriter for cosmetics advertising…I’m talking about getting rid of above-ground power, phone and other communication lines. You know, the ugly ones that are prime targets for falling branches in windstorms and that are known for falling down in earthquakes.

I’m lucky enough to live in a neighborhood that banded together about 15 years ago, got itself in the undergrounding queue, and saw all of its overhead lines placed underground. We now have quaint old-timey looking streetlights and a streetscape that is blissfully free of a spaghetti bowl of lines. You know, the way things are built these days in the ‘burbs.

But we’re not the ‘burbs, and even though the city of San Francisco knows it would be immensely better off with all overhead lines placed underground (think: after the Big One comes — how will emergency crews cross thousands of downed lines to perform rescue operations?), there’s one big problem.

There’s no money.

In fact, back in 2007, the city’s Utility Undergrounding Task Force reported that, “Utility wire undergrounding in San Francisco is coming to a halt. When the current 45.8- mile plan ends in 2008, undergrounding will cease for the next twelve years unless we create new ways to fund and implement the program.”

But…there is a way. Property owners can form a “property-owner funded undergrounding utility district” to get their area all spiffed up and utility-pole free. In 2008 the approximate cost for trenching and replacing streetlights was $562 per linear foot, resulting in a cost of about $14,000 per home with a 25-foot frontage.

The SF Department of Public Works estimates that the process for these districts would take between 2 1/2 years and 5 years.

Step 1: Determine district boundaries (1-2 months)

Step 2: Circulate petition (2-4 months; 60% of owners on each and every block must sign the petition)

Step 3: Legislate underground district (2-4 months)

Step 4: Form assessment district (1-2 years)

Step 5: Construction (1-2 years)

So, if you’re jonesing to bury the power lines in your neighborhood, grab your nearest agreeable neighbor, your clipboard, and your community organizing skills, and get started!

I posted a few funnies on Monday about random goofs I’ve come across in the San Francisco Multiple Listing Service. And now it’s like shooting fish in a barrel when I’ve been looking through listings — the hits just keep coming.

First up, there’s a property that can be sold with the whole houseful of furniture for an additional $3,500. I’m no furniture snob, mind you, but $3,500 for a whole houseful doesn’t seem like a whole lot of money. Then again…

Sanford and his son called, and they want their couches back.

…if it looks like this, I might just pay $3,500 extra to make sure the house is empty when I buy it.

And then there’s this marketing text, which makes it sound like the house needs to visit the self-help aisle at the local bookstore:

Poor house with its poor self-image. I hope it works through its (poorly spelled) dysfunctional layout, gets the Love that it needs and finds some approval somewhere — from the lender or somewhere else.

On the flip side is this self-confident home:

Or this home that IS San Francisco:

Now, sometimes pictures make me wonder just who lives in a particular home. Like this photo, with what appears to be a suicidal teddy bear looming over the head of the bed…and the other stuffed animals scattered about the room, including the ones perched on top of the curtain rods.

Next up: could you please move that “e” from “plane” to the end of the word “suit,” so this makes some sense? Or is there a formal dress code for the master bedroom?

I’m not entirely sure what we’re going for here. Does it need a big slobbery dog to do a little panting?

I know what will always sell a house: a photo that shows potential buyers what the place will look like if they’re total slobs like the current owners.

Buyers in San Francisco are often concerned about earthquake safety. So let’s go ahead and show them what their new house will look like after the Big One.

Yes, I’m serious. No, I’m not kidding. Someone apparently didn’t know how to rotate a photo, so this turned-90-degrees-counterclockwise photo is the primary shot in a listing.

And the one that had me laughing out loud (not just LOL, but seriously laughing out loud).

If you peel up some of that parquet flooring, will it say “butter!”?

I spend all kinds of time in the San Francisco Multiple Listing Service (MLS), keeping my listings current and scoping out new properties for my buyer clients. And as a former English teacher and lover of language, I sometimes cringe a bit when I see marketing remarks that are only vaguely related to real-life words. I also occasionally stumble across photos that make me wonder what in the world is going through someone’s mind as he or she posts them in the MLS.

I won’t name names or give addresses, in order to protect the innocent. But in a kind of MLS blooper reel, I’ll share some of my recent finds. Sure, there are lots of dinning rooms, eating kitchens, and walking closets — I’ve gotten used to finding those rooms instead of dining rooms, eat-in kitchens and walk-in closets.

How ’bout some “old world granger,” which I’m pretty sure is standing in for old world grandeur? Or the agent who sent a mailing to offer potential sellers a “customized market tragedy” for their homes? I’m pretty sure the first tragedy is that she didn’t realize that tragedy is quite a different word from “strategy.”

And then there’s this one for a home with two units, with two bedrooms and one bat each. Send this one to your clients who dig baseball.

Calling all baseball fans...

Up next: do the ghosts at the card table come with the house? (Hint: maybe you should ask your clients to leave the room when photos are being taken so you don’t have to use your mad Photoshop skills to blur them out. Then again, when the room looks this cluttered, maybe it’s not a big deal.)

This next one made me scratch my head for two reasons: it doesn’t tell much of a story about the kitchen, and it was taken in 2007. This is for a current listing, on the market right now. Now I’m curious…what does the kitchen look like now if this four-year-old photo is the best they’ve got?

For those of you who run home-based shipping businesses:

And last, just in time for the holidays:

If you’re a San Francisco property owner, you’ve received* your property tax bill by now.

When?

This means that the first installment is due in a few weeks — December 10th to be exact. (Actually, because December 10th falls on a Saturday this year, the payment is due on Monday, December 12.)

What does “due” mean? Not to go all Bill Clinton on you while defining the term — but it’s important to know how the Tax Assessor’s Office views that due date. From the Assessor’s Office website:

“Payments made by U.S. mail and postmarked on or before the delinquent date are considered paid on time; private/office postage meters are not acceptable as proof of timely payment. Foreign mail, regardless of the postmark, must be received no later than December 10 and April 10 respectively.”

You can also pay it in person at  Room 140, 1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett Pl.,  San Francisco, CA 94102, and online (start by looking up your property, then you can access your bill and pay by electronic check or credit card).

How much? 

Simple: Tax amount = (Assessed Value x Annual Tax Rate) — Exemptions + Special Assessments/Fees/Liens. The assessed value is the cash or market value at the time of your purchase, and this amount is allowed by state law to increase by 2% annually.  The annual tax rate is recommended by the Controller, adopted by the Board of Supervisors, and approved by the Mayor. The tax rate this year is 1.1718%.

What for?

The $1.331 billion collected in property taxes goes into the General Fund, which pays for everyday (i.e., important) city services like parks, fire protection, police, libraries, and street cleaning.

* By the way, not receiving your bill doesn’t excuse you from paying it. Bummer, right? If you haven’t received your bill, go to the website of the Office of the Treasurer and Tax Collector and look up your home by address, or lot & block number.

Matt and I both live in the Inner Sunset, where we have more fog than our buddies in the sunny eastern part of the city, killer sunset views when the weather is good, proximity to Golden Gate Park, and a thriving commercial corridor centered around 9th Ave. and Irving Street.

We’ve also got lots of community-minded neighbors, one of whom (Chris Duderstadt) has envisioned the transformation of Irving between 9th and 10th into a pedestrian plaza. Chris’ idea looks like this:

Chris Duderstadt's rendering of a public plaza on display at Irving Street and 10th Avenue. Photo: Aaron Bialick, as posted on SF.Streetsblog.org

That’s right: no cars, no parking (there are no driveways on this block, so no residents would lose garage access). Just trees, pedestrians, benches, a place to gather with neighbors, relax, and enjoy the day.

Chris’ rendering was posted at the recent Inner Sunset Street Fair, where fair-goers were invited to leave their comments on a giant sheet of white paper posted next to the poster.

Photo: Aaron Bialick, as posted on SF.Streetsblog.org

A quick scan of this photo shows a whole lot of yes votes, some gripes about unrelated things happening in Golden Gate Park , some maybes, some suggestions for how to make the idea even better, and some no votes — with the “yesses” appearing to outweigh the others by a large margin.

I happen to love the idea. I love my neighborhood and don’t think the world will come to a fiery end if one block — just one block — were to be closed to traffic. There are a handful of restaurants on this block; could they have a little bit of outdoor seating (cue the snarky comments about the weather being too crappy in the Inner Sunset for people to eat outside…)? Could there be trees and native plantings? Could it be a one-block slice of community outdoor space in a dense urban area?

Could it be???

Consider this my morbid week-before-Halloween blog post.

A couple of years ago I read a disclosure package in which the sellers dutifully stated that their house is haunted. They weren’t sure who the ghost was, but if I recall correctly they thought it might have been the former owner who had died in the house about 15 years earlier. I kind of scoffed at the disclosure, but then again, who am I to say that ghosts either do or don’t exist?

I may not know if ghosts exist or not, but I do know how to advise my clients about disclosures when they’re selling their home. And while there’s no disclosure law about ghosts in California, there are rules about disclosing deaths on the property. What rules, you ask? There’s a question on the Real Estate Transfer Disclosure Statement that asks if there has been a death on the property in the last three years, and sellers must answer truthfully. And if a potential buyer asks about deaths on the property more than three years ago, the seller must answer that truthfully as well.

But say it’s the house where Charles Manson went helter-skelter or where Nicole Brown Simpson was murdered. Many years have passed since those heinous crimes, so one might think that because it’s been more than 3 years, that a seller wouldn’t have to disclose the deaths. But that would be wrong. If the property is “stigmatized” because of the murder, the buyer needs to know that regardless of how much time has passed. Think about it: you buy a house, move in, meet your neighbors and have them ask you if it was hard to decide to buy the house where the school teacher was chopped into bits. Sellers, do the right thing, and if it’s a death of natural causes, go by the 3-year rule for disclosures. But if the house is a stop on a tour of macabre locations of murders and mayhem, disclose it no matter how much time has passed.

What about you? Would you live in a home where someone had been murdered?

Having grown up in a house where recycling required soaking glass jars to remove the labels, bagging them up and taking them to the recycling place (all of which my family did a couple of times a month), I can safely say that “being green” for me is much more than a trendy, guilt-reducing state of mind. And living in San Francisco, I’ve gotten used to disposing of three types of waste: garbage (excuse me, that would be “landfill”), recycling, and compost.

But say you want to go green and you’re not quite sure where to start. According to a recent article in the New York Times, there are now eco-concierges who can guide you through the process of switching to eco-friendly cleaning products, finding hair salons that use natural dyes, or buying clothes that are made from organic fibers that are grown without pesticides.

Um, OK. More power to those who want to make the switch and be mindful that there are choices about what types of chemicals we bring into our homes, wear on our bodies, and eat in our food. But I must admit, I’m having a hard time figuring out why this requires paying someone $75 an hour. To be fair, this might be a bigger mind-shift than I realize and it really might require help.

But can’t you just go to the store and buy the cleaning stuff that isn’t full of petroleum? Can’t you Google hair salons that use natural dyes? Can’t you reach for the toilet paper that doesn’t require chopping down rare, old-growth trees? I realize in some parts of the country these options don’t even exist (yet), but in New York (the focus on the NYT article) and San Francisco, options abound.

And in other parts of the country, demand for products/hair dyes/nail polishes/dog treats that have less negative impact on the environment will open up new markets for greener items.